|Photo by bigjom|
What I like is that in recent years I have seen an increase in clients who come in for pre-marital counseling. It feels wrong on some level to poke around with these couples and try to find the issues that could be their ultimate undoing. What's scary is that it's not hard. Oftentimes they have been living together for some period of time and are already bickering about money and the division of household responsibility. So, I try to set the stage for future work. At least they already have the phone number. The young people I see tend to fall into one of two categories: either they are from horrific families where there was nothing but conflict and have no idea about healthy relationship skills, or they are from families where there was NO conflict because everyone liked everything pretty much the same way . . . and they have no idea about healthy relationship skills when there IS conflict.
I wondered, as I thought about this blog, why June? Here's what I found out:
- Once upon a time it was considered lucky to honor the Roman goddess of marriage by celebrating a wedding in the month named for her.
- Apparently, the druid spirits were busy getting frisky in May, and nobody wanted to risk getting them angry by interfering earlier in the spring.
- When the weather started getting warmer, it was time to think about your annual bath. By June, you were still pretty fresh.
- Always practical, if conception occurred immediately, babies would be born in early spring. What that meant, ladies, was that we'd be up and around in time to help out with the harvest instead of lounging around caring for an infant or waddling around inconveniently pregnant.
|Here's my favorite stock|
|Seriously. There's a hundred |
pictures of these two.
|Photo by Johnathan Fitch|
Bad news. That's not the way it works. 5 years later, a lot of them are back in my office with a new partner, in exactly the same relationship.
So I'm going to write about the 3 things in traditional marriage vows that, in my humble opinion, keep a marriage going. If you can do these 3 things, you've got it nailed and you can start planning for your 50th anniversary. Stop doing any one of them and you're toast.